9 Gestures of a High-Class Sorceress
She whispers the light to guide the dying home and beckons the soil to make love to the roots' sweat. A high-class sorceress is compassionately connected. She implicitly trusts the lunacy and truth within her own divine heart as it beats in ecstatic communion with the heavens abound.
If you were expecting this to be about gaining social status or moral high-ground, my deepest insincere apologies. I invite you to be moved by the following tactics employed by next-level change-makers and rich wizards. Herein, I address the feminine, but please tailor the sex to suit your preference.
1. she strategically employs low-brow tactics
A high-class sorceress knows the rules and breaks them well. Subversive magic is the swinging pendulum that divides and conquers the status-quo. Challenging high-and-mighty dogmas is like lightning striking the tallest oak tree. The Lakota value this art form so much, they honor the sacred clown (Heyoka) as an important member of the tribe. The Heyoka's playful, lightning-sharp clowning tactics poke fun at status and esteem, keeping ceremonial leaders humble and humorous.
So go ahead! Auction off those shadowboxes of your favorite booger sculptures at your next Gala for the Arts. Be the unsavory ink blot on the letterpressed invitation. I invite you to casually slap men who threaten or "play" women... and hard, with a casual smile. Spit on the stark white dress of a bigot. Paint your tooth black before a trip to the dentist. Be that crack in the mug and invite your whole world to embrace a Wabi-Sabi perspective.
2. She shines her doorknobs and oils her baseboards.
As within, so throughout. The microcosm of our intuitive hearts is reflected in the macrocosm of our dwellings. Super sensitive sorceresses feel it all, deeply, and deciphering whose energy is whose is not always easy. We may feel the scum in the air when nasty energy lingers about, but attuned magic-folk literally hunt for these energetic satellites broadcasting on the physical plain.
Hunt we shall! Entryways get the most action, veritable interstate highways for business owners. With all the comings and goings cluttering up the energy field, regular cleanings are essential to keeping our health on point and our intuition sharp. A high-class sorceress takes particular notice of the touchy spots like light switches, door frames, and drawer pulls. You probably notice the entry-points of smaller spirits like ants, fairies, and roaches. Oiling the perimeter of your dwelling with clove, orange and eucalyptus is a lovely protection ritual that fortifies your physical and psychic fortress.
Final notes on nesting: Every corner of your home is ripe for magic and affords a unique opportunity for creative ritual. You'll eventually discover dust bunnies and ghost turds mucking up your Baguas. Cleaning the dusty oven-hood in the eastern-most corner should freshen up stagnant conversations with your mother. Adding a light to your love Bagua may brighten up your dating life. Creating a delightful entryway keeps the Jumbies away. Relish in the art of nesting with intention and enjoy the keen intuition and a healthy home.
A high-class sorceress honors her sensitivity and strives for balanced aesthetics. Ritualizing cleaning to honor your intuition completely eliminates the drudgery of housework. Ride those broomsticks, witches!!
3. She witchcrafts sustainably - because she has to!
If you're like me, a trip to a Hobby-Lobby is likely to induce a short-term depression. I've literally found myself crying on the phone in one of their bathroom stalls. I grew up on the Texas coast, which happens to be one of the most biodiverse regions in the world, and since Formosa Plastics set up shop on the bay, Hobby Lobby's plastic junk just looks like Texas dolphin coffins. I would never spend money at a major craft store like Hobby Lobby unless my ritual was dedicated to honoring mass manufacturing's tendency to force nature's evolution of consciousness. High-class recognize when enough is enough. We have enough.
Lofty sorceresses employ a strict "Use what you have." policy. Since we don't treasure random junk, we don't actually have that much stuff. What we do have is precious. Our treasures hold emotional charges that make them strong ritual satellites. The acquisition of a ritual element is as important as the element itself. It's about the journey.
A high-class sorceress takes nature walks like medicine. We listen for the secret language of the wild mistletoe and native goji. We detect the distant rotting flesh of a pink feathered spoonbill, bones and plumage begging to be exalted on our Venusian altar. We delight in an emptied fig basket for its headdress potential. Every dollar we spend casts a tiny spell for the world we want to receive. Babies and future generations need our awareness of the world they'll inherit. Our magic craft counts on every level!
4. She balances her masculine and feminine
"Oh great Dionysus, androgynous god of trance, religious ecstasy and ritual madness, guide us to dissolve our untruths into this impassioned dance... this love affair with ourselves."
A high-class sorceress is impassioned, allowing herself to be moved into an ecstatic Pasa Doble tango with the beloved within. The masculine provides a potent yet stable foundation against the feminine's release, therein the masculine finds ultimate freedom. The two lover's passions ebb with pregnant pauses and flow with tempestuous fervor. They match and move as one until they become the same raucous, resounding like ska-punk Seraphim in a 7th heaven.
Losing ourselves to ourselves for ourselves simply makes us enigmatic and enchanting. In the Art of Seduction, Robert Greene calls this seduction style the "Demonic Charismatic." The spirit of the demon within is roused to seduce the child within until their united splendor becomes so captivating that all ego is lost to the endeavor itself; i.e the music, the lecture, the dance. This conception can't occur without surrendering the masculine to the feminine and she unto him.
We let ourselves become utterly beloved by our inner beloved. We are danced by spirit - by marriage of our divine feminine and divine masculine. We let ourselves howl, growl, and croon in the glory of our lover's ecstatic moan. We feel the potential of our unborn children as we pull our creations back into ourselves. This is Kennedy's fists clamoring against the podium, Elvis' rogue leg, Rasputin's whirling dissertations. This is the flamenco yodel and the Odissi mudra. This is a golden space indeed.
5. She attunes her senses for impeccable taste.
For the sake of self-love and the love of all things, the high-class sorceress takes pause. She stops to smell the roses, reflecting on the odd nymph on her window. The sorceress waits for the wind to make love to her. She considers and prays before each meal, and often before each bite. I personally prefer batting my lashes at my tacos. The Zen masters keep a practice wherein they reflect on the 73 ways their food comes to them. Have you ever tasted a fairytale in a panini?
Once upon a time in central Texas, little Johnny mustard plant mustered up a spicy little attitude. The drought hit hard that year. Heifers keeled over. Rivers dried up. Not even okra could fruit. Little Johnny had to fight chlorophyll-and-stem just to grow an inch. And he couldn't have those punk-ass beetles taking their piece, so he gave 'em lip. Hot lip. Hot lip Johnny was his name. He was the hero of cruciferous spice.
But beware of snobbery! Or embrace it cautiously. In time, your senses may sharpen such that you are challenged to find perfection in imperfection. For example, my ear for pitch grew to be impeccable. At first, I only heard the pitchy notes, but now my ear is so attuned to the nuances of vocal spirit, I can discern a dissonant note fed by conviction versus boredom. I'm no longer so inclined to gild the lilies, although I'm admittedly tempted.
It took quite a while to completely relinquish my hyper-judgement cape for the sake of unique spirit. There's so much more subtlety to enjoy. High class sorceresses notice the little things. We let our hair down at the perfumery to filter the base notes from the top notes. We feel for the water run-off on the hills where we hunt the chanterelles. We write in cursive, slow and deliberate, like that long lost lover from the L.A. funk band. Adore the subtleties and be guided to life's most refined artistry.
6. She observes before exalting
This especially applies to gods and lovers. The Tibetan Thangka artists meditate for years before even considering depicting a God. They meditate on sacred geometry and study divine mathematics so they may render the face of a god in perfect proportions, then still more meditation with sacred herbs to refine the art of blending dyes. They dedicate even more years to master brush strokes with varying widths of single strands of hair. They dedicate their lives to the study of a particular deity so they may employ the poison as medicine. After a lifetime of devotion, finally, in their ripe old monk age, they may begin to render a God into a Thangka. Many eastern traditions honor these slower disciplines.
Kung-Fu is also based on the principle of keen observation. Once an animal spirit shows himself to be a teacher, the Kung-Fu masters sit in humble observance, inhaling the spirit of the animal guide so that it may integrate into their dancing way of life and fighting style. A classy sorceress honors her subjects by carefully observing their energy. A common practice for green witches: sketch an herb and tuck it under the pillow for a full lunar cycle. Only after the herb has spoken is it respectful to render a tincture. To bottle a genie, one must commune with the sacrificial flame until it becomes the bull of the water. Learn the language of the demons and you may charm poisons into medicines.
7. She challenges other super creators to up their game.
Our consciousness may be the only thing that can save our consciousness. Truly electric artists play to our connectivity and wake our souls down to our bones. We ask ourselves, "Why am I not doing this thing that makes me feel so alive?" Powerfully connected sorceresses rarely realize the impact they have on others. We just feel what we feel and create because we have to get it out. Powerful sorcery are usually so consumed with their artistry, they rarely notice anyone else noticing.
It's highly likely you've set riveting examples of self-expression for sweet dumplin's without even realizing. Prime craft ignites and inspires with charisma that forces followers to be moved. Sorcery arrests the mind like a dirty cop, forces it into submission, searches the bowels for hidden truths, disciplines the right and left hemispheres of the brain, and finally sets the mind free with a clean record. The nature of high-class sorcery is lofty but the means are often vulgar and comical. The power is in the tears, flash mobs, maniacal music, mundane profundity and weird high-stakes creation that threatens society's concept of unity, reality, and justice.
8. She grieves with grace and perfect disgrace.
Huzzah! There's actually an appropriate time to be a zombie and escape the fuck out. Mourning! Classy sorcery means honoring the beast within and honoring everyone's unique journey for its ripe soul lessons. If your inner-beast feels like a zombie when you're forcing her to conduct business meetings or do the dishes, it's probably time for a little ritualistic brain-feeding. We give ourselves staycations. We need space to feel nothing at all so we may eventually feel that something that desperately needs to be felt. My zombie has consumed her fair share of brains.
After my grandmother died, this looked like two months of sleeping on clean-ish laundry and binge-watching Black Sails on a steady diet of Amy's Mac-N-Cheese. Without that laurel lounging, I wouldn't have experienced the deliciously bitter peppering of siren-wailing in honor of Kali, fraught at the edge of the sea. The ocean spray mixed with my tears until my grief became the sea's grief. Kali will destroy everything we love. We can always trust in her recreation. Without grief rituals, we burn out and get sick, or worse, have bad sex! So we can practice escapism to escape or we can practice escapism for self-love.
A final note about grief and dying: It's important to get honest about death. If you or someone you love has crossed their arc of life, be honest about it. Don't sugar coat that shit! The sooner we get honest about death, the sooner we can start creating the container for the art of dying which is, indeed, a rare and precious gift.
9. A high-class sorceress gets her hands dirty.
She is the nurse in a war zone, the diaper changing mother, the field-dressing survivalist. Life calls for gross and gory sacrifices. Sometimes Grandpa misses the toilet! Princesses who prioritize manicures over the health and well-being of someone they deeply love will inevitably lose integrity to subconscious guilt that can only be reversed with sacrifice or self-loving penitence rituals. Keep that conscience clear with sacrifices of money, service, and vulnerability to honor those true and lasting connections that keep sorcery classy.
Vulnerability sacrifices are the most heart expanding. They require ultimate courage. They afford more chances to crawl in bed with grandma and cry on her shoulder, more chances to say what we never could say, more chances to show the kids how human we wizards can be, more chances to fall deeply in love, and more chances to be who we truly are.
We've come so far as super-creators. Ultimately, every man and woman is a star. The brightest burning sorcerers align with their truest will, profoundly connected through compassionate presence. If you're inspired to align to your truest will and need support in your journey, I offer private coaching and workshops for high-class sorcerers, charming freaksters, and rich wizards. Blessing and rich lessons.